just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
