How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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