i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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