haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
