Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
