You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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