I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I bet he comes in French.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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