If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
