so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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