I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
