As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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