if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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