my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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