No stitches, just platelets and will power
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
