Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
