Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
