I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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