"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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