I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
In the future we'll all be gay
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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