that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
