Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This is my gift to your gina
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
