This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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