How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm at about main and main street
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
