Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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