Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
