You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
