I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you made out with another girl for some wings
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
God, I missed his penis.
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