Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
