Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
