just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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