I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
