she takes plan B like it's going out of style
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
