He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Are we still banned from the library?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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