I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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