It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
