everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My vagina just recognized that song.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
