I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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