Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
