Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
