and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
