apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
