dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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