he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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