How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
