I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
