Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
