You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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