1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
