do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
