My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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